I can't! Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Eddo. He's gonna drive us tonight. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. [cries]. Laura Lee Winslow: No! Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? Carl: Typical. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? More like The Repulsions. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can you carry me home? Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. Laura: Sure. I'm cooking breakfast. Steve Urkel: I've taken a vow of chastity. Steve Urkel: A little? Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. You're acting like animals! Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. Pull your gun right now. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Jaleel White, the actor best known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, has launched his own cannabis brand - on the day enthusiasts around the globe enjoy a toke. Alright. So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. A minor Betty Crocker boo boo. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Steve Urkel: Steve Urkel! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Wha? Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Sign up | Log in An . [kisses Laura] Love you. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? It meant a lot to me. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Ouchith! Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. "Clean up your room, Edward." Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. Harriette Winslow: But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. And I'll be coming home tomorrow. Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. [reading] "Mongu! Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! You showed me a picture of your dog. 12. r/Unexpected. It's not fair. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. First of all, this is not a real date. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. You have the right to remain silent. Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. [strikes a pose] Laura? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. You can do it! Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. So one day I decided to do something about it. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! I'm in this class. Bye! I just got a job! Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. You can stay. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. [leaves]. Rachel Crawford: Right. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. It was my nickname in preschool! I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. All the pins look like Laura! Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? How about the next round we switch colors? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Steve Urkel: [as Waldo hands Steve a cup of the spiked punch] Why should I Laura, I'm the pife of the larty! Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Doo da doo da. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Can you imagine that? Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. Laura: How long have we known each other? Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. Come here. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Didn't you? Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! No phones. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? He just told you to get lost. See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. I'm getting dizzy. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Upload. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. Carl: This baby has a remote. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Pick a general observation about her personality. Harriette: What for? Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: This diary belongs to Harriette and I will not violate her privacy. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. I just caught her, that's all. Rachel Crawford: Good. You are under arrest! You'll never know how much time you'll have together. What is the value of X? Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Steve Urkel: Uh no. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Forget it, Steve. But you know what, I find her very attractive. You know that? Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. Stop the music! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Look how big and thick it is! Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? One Now, let's read it! steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines So long! You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. [He leaves the house]. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? How much will that cost me? [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Join. Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. [the car breaks down. Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! "Family Matters Quotes." Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Finally, one rainy day, I walked in dripping wet, and that same man that pushed me out, shook his head and gave me a library card. "Tomorrow, Dad!" She just slipped and I caught her. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? He held operations in Chicago. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. We're starved. Harriette: I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a home economics class. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Did I do that? I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. She lived a long and full life. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Don't they teach Black History at your school? Steve Urkel: Laura? People just love juicy gossip! Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. My zipper." 5. Get down from there! Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. An illustration of a person's head and chest. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. 4 Mar. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. Get up and get your own pie! You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Do these guys have game? No! Wha? Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Think of the possibilities.". Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Stupid? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. Steve Urkel: I know! And I like the Red Sox. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. My doctor slapped the wrong end. YOU'RE WHERE? [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! I'm going to give you an 'A'. Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Please, my little Rapunzel. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Will you marry me? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. So, is it all right with you? I don't *ever* want to work for you again. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Bazooms! Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. Carl: I am not. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Steve Urkel: I can't! Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. It is always tomorrow with that boy. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Wa chee! The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Harriette: At my table, you eat them. The valet gave me a tip. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you!