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There is only one bathroom, and it is up a steep flight of stairs. In short, everything about her packed a wallop. Also, industrial psychology, protein synthesis, polymer science, and the peculiar magic that makes water bugs skate so perfectly on a pond. Doesnt surprise me. The title of this book, part memoir and part social commentary, references the colloquial name 'Rust Belt' which was given to the north-eastern states in America where a major decline in the steel industry occurred from the 1980s. Shes a very beautiful horse, the handyman said. 7 p.m. Thursday, March 12: Cuyahoga Public Library, Beachwood Branch, 25501 Shaker Blvd., Beachwood. But obviously a white horse is not a brown horse. I follow behind the men, overly conscious of my feet. I cannot stand. He takes the woman in his arms. You can send her program ideas for Talk of Alaska and Alaska Insight at ltownsend@alaskapublic.org or call 907-350-2058. Rust charts Goldbach's journey of coming to terms with, and overcoming, common realities of millennial young adulthood: graduating and trying to enter the workforce during the Great Recession, crushed by student debt and unable to find work that pays a living wage or offers the basic benefits that were commonplace when many of our parents' generation were young. I told the administrators of the Catholic college where the men and I were students. When you purchase an independently reviewed book through our site, we earn an affiliate commission. A backdrop to Cleveland, ArcelorMittal steel mill was once shunned by writer Eliese Colette Goldbach. I was alone with him a lot, Eliese said loudly. She cites her father as one example. See reviews, photos, directions, phone numbers and more for the best Horse Rentals in Council Bluffs, IA. Good for you. Learn more. Logic was never her strong point. She threw them all into the trash. This is one that Im not going to expound upon. I am the only girl. Anyone can read what you share. Thats a first for me, the man said. It belonged to Anita Halloran, a lady who worked with your mother. A literary agent saw this and got in touch with her to pitch the idea of a book. Her childhood troubles do not make sense. ]; Wickersham, Seth.Awakening the giant; Jones, Chris.One thousand two hundred and fifty-eight pounds of sons Sometimes, a white horse is born with a fatal genetic disorder known as Lethal White Syndrome. I can no longer walk without the aid of a wall. No one really likes to talk about these things, but we really have to if we want to shift that culture of silence and shame and blame. The genre presents the working class as a white, male, union-laborer monolith, instead of a politically and racially diverse, largely female class of service industry and gig economy workers. Come on, the man in the army fatigue jacket says, we gotta go, someones gonna see. At first, I didnt heed the advice of the men. Hed give Eliese a handful of candy if she watched him work. The mare flicks her tail and startles at the slightest shift in the breeze. It galloped across the concrete garage floor. This is a world most people never see. The white Hanes underwear. But their mockery inspires self-awareness. She believed it. The candy piqued Elieses interest. I told a therapist. She wears a dress. 7 p.m. Thursday, March 19: Lakewood Public Library, Main Library Auditorium, 15425 Detroit Ave., Lakewood. At least she said something. She is in her grandfathers house, but her grandfather is not there. Everything suddenly narrows. [4] He kept a box of Reeses Pieces in his pocket. Eliese Colette Goldbach, "White Horse" Eliese wants to tell you a story. The tiny, predicated pieces of ourselves the things attributed to us, contained and experienced within us cannot be confounded with all that we are. Always a box, never a bag. She said she didn't see how any Christian could support a man like Trump. Sign up for NCR's Book Club listand we'll email you new book reviews every week. At age 29, Eliese Colette Goldbach found herself dressed in a visor and heat-resistant jumpsuit, leaning over a giant vat of molten zinc with a garden hoe, strapped into a harness to keep her from being cooked alive in the churning liquid metal below. The other mans hand reaching for my hair. By Italians and Russians and Bolivians. Growing up, she was told that the world. The conversation be held after a staged reading of a personal essay called White Horse, about a campus rape and the aftermath, written by Elise Goldbach and featured in the current issue of The Alaska Quarterly Review. All rights reserved (About Us). She didnt want to play dirty. 6691. The man in the army fatigue jacket pulls away, watches me vomit, takes me by the hair, and puts himself back in my mouth. She could not help watching. 4, 2014, pp. Her muscles went rigid. Dream, instead, of the white horse circling the herd, its tail lifted, its voice so shrill and potent it makes your own mouth itch to speak. She wants to tell you a story, but she lacks so many things. Required fields are marked *. The man unzipped his pants and began masturbating. He wasnt looking at the horse. By the age of eleven, Eliese had developed an eating disorder. It galloped right out of the garage. Eliese pushes the mare backward, and the stallion finishes. To say no would be a lie. With watchful brown eyes, the mare studies a man unloading hay just outside the paddock. She tried to pull more firmly, but her boyfriend would not turn around. The genre obscures the fact that Trump enjoyed support from wealthy and middle-class white voters across the country, not just from working-class white people in "backwards" regions. And I think that this White Horse event is one small way our community can come together and I really hope our community comes together to just have a conversation around these really difficult topics. Horse Buggy Rental in Council Bluffs on YP.com. Eliese remembers the men and their violence. The memoir is set in Cleveland, but in those above ways, it could be set nearly anywhere in the country. Select any of the newsletters below, then enter your email address and click "subscribe", Stories of climate, crisis, faith and action, Mission and ministry of Catholic women religious around the world, Help us deliver independent, lay-led Catholic journalism, Illinois bishop's provocative essay suggests Cardinal McElroy is a heretic, Denver-area Catholic women say priest denied them Communion over rainbow masks, As Francis reinforces limits on Latin Mass, it's past time to embrace Vatican II, Pope Francis has opened the door for real church reform, but hasn't stepped through, Papal advisor says 'Vos estis,' Francis' key clergy abuse reform, 'not working', Catholic advocates praise Biden administrative actions to combat child migrant labor exploitation. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Your email address will not be published. I touch his arm and smile. Join to connect John Carroll University. The proverbial man on a white horse. He tenderly burns her clothing. There are only men at this party. Its more-than-okay when a story other than my own conveys a shut up and listen, for a rare shining moment, shut the fuck up, dude., Your email address will not be published. She remembered her white underwear. You dont want to look like a slut. You had to take your bruises without tears, but you couldnt be too passive.. Dr Heather Adams is the moderator for a panel discussion of the essay, White Horse at the Anchorage Museum Thursday evening, beginning at 7 pm. At one point, Goldbach trains in the Hot Dip Galvanizing Line, skimming dross off a vat of molten zinc. She tries to leave, but the man holds her down. Back when Eliese was a very little girl, she wrote her first book. Goldbach mentions but does not explore the anti-Trump views of some of her fellow union workers. In front of the bus stop, the man in the black bra dropped his silk shirt. The verdict devastated Eliese. The paychecks pull Goldbach out of poverty. Vance's Hillbilly Elegy, its most successful and notorious example. Drag kings wore wife beaters and baggy jeans. This is her first breeding. Particle physics, for example. But Eliese does not disclose this information when she says, I was raped. They took me into the woods. Despite my deep insecurities about the mill, I was developing a complicated love for it, she adds. They lived in the same Midwestern suburb all her life. The horse wasnt interested in oil changes. She followed the handyman into the garage. I dont know. https://www.eliesecolettegoldbach.com/events. She is a laborer and a writer and an avid equestrian. The family handyman walks past her, and a box of Reeses Pieces rattles in his pocket. The Plain Dealer At age 29, Eliese Colette Goldbach found herself dressed in a visor and heat-resistant jumpsuit, leaning over a giant vat of molten zinc with a garden hoe, strapped into a. 1, 2012, pp. They checked their phones. She will teach the young girl to name the breeds and cinch a girth and slip a bit between a horses teeth. Nothing happened when I was eighteen, she said. What happened when you were seventeen or eighteen years old? There was so much to describe the people, the noise and machines. 7 p.m. Tuesday: Brews + Prose at Market Garden Brewery, 1947 West 25th St., Cleveland. Hey, my friend said suddenly, do you mind if I use the story of your rape as an example in my presentation? To add more, click here . Her interest was driven by more than morbid curiosity. Eliese doubles over and leans into the mares chest. Goldbach, now 33, was born in a devoutly Catholic, Republican, blue-collar home. Its bark was subtle and knotty. She knows equitation and confirmation and equine disease. New bed bug infestation at UAF residence halls, Judge reverses House District 40 primary, gives Nageak a two-vote edge, Alaska News Nightly: Friday, March 3, 2023. She remembers the men and their violence. Now a John Carroll University adjunct English professor, Goldbach, 33, vividly shares her experiences in her new book, Rust: A Memoir of Steel and Grit (Flatiron Books), to be published Tuesday. When Eliese was a little girl, the family handyman used to call her Leesy Piecey. The difficult and painful topic of sexual assault and the trauma that follows will be the discussion tomorrow evening at the Anchorage museum. Lets put a happy little tree right here, he said. He was enjoying himself. You won the lottery, an older employee told her when she showed up that first day in 2016. She didnt walk into ArcelorMittal with the intention of writing about her experiences there. My chest covered in vomit. She is sometimes a liar and sometimes a slut. Vance stereotyping Ohioans, but his book humanizes one part of who we are. The rodents in her apartment get bigger and bolder. Men who seem older, more worldly. Consent is something that we talk about that sounds like its a yes or a no. TOWNSEND: Dr. Adams, you have written about the legacy of shame, secrecy, silence and part of that is dealing with the shame that surrounds rape or unwanted pregnancies. He ran a pawnshop, and one of the items in the pawnshop that pleased young Eliese most was a toilet seat made of pennies. She did not love this man she did not want to love him but his body felt safe and warm against her own. Multivariable calculus. The woman falters. Other Publications She was not at fault. Blood and semen drip down the mares hocks, and Eliese pushes the mare backward. I write about my life as a way to give me a sense of purpose and meaning. She faints. Eliese always blushed, but she didnt know why. I know it was you, she said. Courtesy of Eliese Colette Goldbach Goldbach also explores her struggles with mental illness, her stepping away from religion, and politics in the form of the 2016 Republican National. He had grown bloated and sallow with age. It will stand and suckle and sniff its mothers scent. Together, she and the horse jumped fallen trees. YouTubes privacy policy is available here and YouTubes terms of service is available here. Any time you are honest about what you have gone through, it is healing, says her mother. At least you and your sister werent alone with him much. For a moment, she stuttered. She can talk about horses. What could not be set anywhere in the country is what follows: Goldbach's ticket to stability in the form of a well-paying union job. Like a lot of kids who grow up in Cleveland, Ohio, I mostly wanted to leave, Goldbach writes near the beginning. Everyone who grows up in Cleveland is familiar with the sight of the orange flame that burns over the steel mill in the industrial valley along the Cuyahoga River. They stared at the pavement. The mare lifts her head. The tree looked like it had been in the picture all along. When Im done, we can eat some candy. This legacy of messages of shame and messages of blame, they really persist. Each day they faced dangerous conditions, and they needed to have each others back. Cleveland State University . It is easier to let their minds wander toward sympathy. Helllloooo, Leesy Piecey. Yes, shed touched his arm and smiled. The shame is a part of her, and she must find its beauty. Eliese will tell the little girl this: do not imbibe the belief that you are in need of saving. But then something happened. After very little deliberation, the university tribunal reached a verdict. A new, white life. And they decided that any sexual acts had been consensual. The crane operator asked her if she was one of those crazy feminists., Youre too pretty for this job, he added. How can you not remember? When his eyes fell on Eliese, she immediately looked at the ground. Yes, Eliese said, I remember him. I guess he got caught molesting some kids or something. Eliese wants to tell you a story. During her final year of college, Eliese attended a Halloween-themed drag show with her boyfriend. The music swelled. Theres someone whos an expertin law. The glint of the bathtub faucet before she blacked out. Eliese lets the listeners imagine, but she never lies. They grew silent. On that morning, she showered under scalding water and picked gravel from her palms and knees. I never expected her to go into steel but was thrilled when she got the job, because it had been so hard for her to make ends meet, says her mother, Sandy Goldbach. When an old friend showed her a pay stub from his job at the mill one day, she was shocked when she saw the yearly pay was close to $85,000, almost four times what she was earning as a painter. Eliese remembered driving with her father past the rust-covered buildings in the Cleveland's industrial valley. You dont want to look like a slut. Eliese could not breathe. I really like to masturbate while I watch couples have sex. They made love against a bank of crumbling shale. The steam rising from the Hot Mill bled into the sunrise, and the white tower above the Hot Dip took on a crimson hue. Goldbach's work at the steel mill provides the backbone of her memoir. She wants to tell you a story, but there are so many things about which she cannot speak. If she touched the mans arm, then maybe she asked for it. She thought again of the old womans words: Your chakras are dangerously out of balance. She struggles to make ends meet as a house painter. The street was crowded with tourists. Her book deal came about almost by accident. Her niece was pure and nave and too young to know better. A pod of dolphins played in the surf, and a man wrapped his arms around her waist. You are bad, and I am not. I wasnt supposed to be a steel worker, she writes near the beginning of Rust.. 33, no. Join Facebook to connect with Eliese Colette Goldbach and others you may know. While everyone waited outside for the funeral to begin, Elieses young niece danced in the sunlight. She dreams of violent rape knives and AK-47s stuck inside her. No, sweetie, you were not raped. Distinguish the is of predication, he writes to her, from the is of identity. Eliese ponders this distinction, but she finds it difficult to grasp. Of course, Eliese had only told the judges about the night in the woods. A strange man with red hair walked up to Eliese. Its really hard to understand why those messages are so persistent. Its cute, her mother said. And not just because of Goldbachs gender. And the white horse looks down into Eliese. But when she found herself in her late 20s with an unfinished masters degree in English, a mountain of student debt, a house-painting job that barely paid the rent and a bipolar disorder, she changed her mind. Her parents were loving, devoted. Its a testament to the sacrifice and ingenuity that built a nation.. The 2023 Iditarod starts this weekend. When I, years ago, learned about women who had to give a child away for adoption because they had that child out of wedlock, it was news to me. The mannequins wore knitted, earth-toned cardigans. You cant tell anyone about this. 33, No. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Everything was sepia tones and faded edges. Hello. This anthology edited by the New York Times-bestselling author of The Empathy Exams offers "essays that are challenging, passionate, sobering, and clever" (Publishers Weekly). The man then attacked Elieses character. Messman-Moore, T., & Long, P. (2003). I find myself in the kitchen. Dream, instead, of the white horse unbroken. Goldbachs graduate school adviser and friend David Giffels, himself the author of several books about living in Northeast Ohio, says her voice is a needed one. The episode triggered her bipolar disorder, she writes, which she was told she was genetically predisposed to through her family line. She wore a wine-colored Renaissance dress with a plunging neckline. We have a lot of cultural taboo around that. Goldbach tries to express how tragic it was to see her fellow laborers and her parents fall for Trumps appeal to their baser instincts, but her prose is strongest when she sticks to the steel industry. Why was she relying on the man in front of her to protect her from the man behind? No, sweetie, you were not raped. His eyes are wide and wild and sickled with white. It was initially a job of expedience. If he had fallen a few moments later, he would have been burned alive. It was the struggle to pay off her student loans that prompted her to apply for a job at the steel mill. Being able to write about the steel mill after a shift gave it meaning.. The strange man drew his body closer. The mare is sweating, trembling, breathing heavy. She prepares to bolt, but Eliese holds her still. The blackouts. I fall into a bathtub, hitting my head on the faucet. The billowing smokestacks. 40, no. This story has been shared 168,313 times. I didnt know what to expect with my first book, says Goldbach, who has been an active part of the local writing community for years, doing readings and publishing in journals. She wet the bed well into puberty. Joshua Gunter, The Plain Dealer: ArcelorMittal 2009, Its kind of stepping back in time when you go down there, she says. Eliese did not say these things to the judges. It cannot expel waste. This, of course, created a troublesome paradox: Eliese could remember the army fatigue jacket, but she could not remember whether she had said no. Whats his name? When Eliese was twenty-seven, she encountered the handyman at a family funeral. Maybe, if she closes her eyes hard enough, a memory will materialize. Goldbach will be flown to New York to discuss her debut book on The Today Show on Monday and has already taped NPR interviews for Morning Edition and 1A slated to run this week. Its definitely exotic to many, says Goldbach. The violence of a harbored, hidden waste. I know it was you. She pulled at her boyfriends hand. This represents one weakness of an otherwise moving and well-written memoir: At times, Goldbach seems to suggest that politics is somehow less "real" than individual behavior in relationships. Shed been a victim when she was pure and nave and too young to know better. I gather myself and walk out of the bathroom, but the dark-haired recluse from Florida pushes me backward. Eliese wants to tell you a story. She knew she was being swindled. I will just wait for the party to wane. She has always dreamed these dreams, even as a child. Born to a working-class, devoutly Catholic family, Goldbach grew up in Brooklyn, attending Corpus Christi and St. Augustine High School, where she was valedictorian in 2004. You cant go anywhere. Eliese does, however, know about horses. She not only stayed but found her way to the heart of this gritty city. You were wearing an army fatigue jacket. She . 1 & 2, 2016, pp. Meshing Expectations.Slipstream, vol. She dreams of rape perpetrated by kings and princes and vagabonds. I grab the bathtub faucet and try to pull myself up before everything goes black. It must be spring. Free shipping for many products! It unhinged you. Yeah, I said, but it was so weird. Dont open that door! The first time was at her decision to go to graduate school in English, which left her painting houses and living in a dump. She got a job at the steel mill, where the pay was good and steady, just like so many other Clevelanders in the nations Rust Belt had done before her. As Eliese stood with legs firmly planted, she wondered whether the handyman had, indeed, abused her when she was young. Lori Townsend is the news director and senior host for Alaska Public Media. This story has been shared 144,036 times. Goldbach rents a small, rodent-infested apartment that smells like dead animals. As a child, she held her nose whenever she drove by the giant orange flame that shot out of the mills looming chimney, sure that breathing in the fumes would give her cancer. They looked at their plates. Entenmars Poetica.Southern California Review, vol. Not just to talk about the ideas but to deal with the emotional piece of it, the emotions that are raised. Men in Motley Crue tshirts. And it often repeats "culture of poverty" rhetoric blaming the alleged personal and cultural deficiencies of poor people, instead of exploring structural and systemic problems. He mounts quickly, and the mare lurches forward. She was violently raped one night by two men she thought were her friends. He promised to give her a handful of Reeses Pieces if she kept him company. His fingernails are black with dirt. Do you remember that handyman? The role of childhood sexual abuse sequelae in the sexual revictimization of women: An empirical review and theoretical reformulation. Also, industrial psychology, protein synthesis, polymer science, and the peculiar magic that makes water bugs skate so perfectly on a pond. Well, they said, did you say no? Thompson, Wright [editor. But while Goldbach discusses systemic issues, she also repeats individualist notions of personal willpower and the American dream, sometimes suggesting that moving beyond self-pity and choosing to take risks were ultimately the key to her healing and success. View of the ArcelorMittal steel mill in Cleveland, 2016 (Flickr/Roy Luck), Send your thoughts to Letters to the Editor. His recent stories have appeared in New Letters, Southwest Review, Idaho Review . Eliese wants to teach this niece so many things. It had been a long time since she thought of the handyman. A Memoir of Steel and Grit By Eliese Colette Goldbach Everyone who grows up in Cleveland is familiar with the sight of the orange flame that burns over the steel mill in the industrial valley. She was a high school teacher, and the presentation was intended for the senior class. McSweeneys Internet Tendency, 7 May 2015. Flies land briefly on Elieses burnt and sweating skin. It would take more than sixty dollars to fix the damage done. Eliese Goldbach at work at ArcelorMittal. And Donald Trump, nominated by the Republican National Convention that summer in Cleveland, slouches toward Washington. Cheryl DeBono/Michaelangelos Photography. Instead, she began painting houses. She washed for hours, but the smell of the mens bodies wouldnt go away. Why was it so difficult to speak? [1] She imagines it happening to her in dark alleys, or during parties at swanky nightclubs, or on the asphalt after it's just rained. The horse may well be white, yet the white horse is not a horse. Many had fallen away. When you were young, the woman said, your life was bright, hopeful. He loaded a knife with black paint and pulled it down the canvas. Thats what I thought about while the men finished. Together, the two women searched for a quiet place where they could examine the state of Elieses spiritual health. My arms wont work. Eliese hoped that a difficult and excruciating beauty was couched in these pieces. Nothing else in her childhood predisposed her to such dysfunction. Eliese Colette Goldbach Published by Flatiron Books "This beautifully told, nuanced memoir will strike a chord with fans of J.D. It was the kind of thing that made you wonder who would ever let something so intimate slip through their fingers.. Eliese is the girl who has been raped. Eliese stands beside a white mare in a paddock. Eliese did not want unbalanced chakras, so she handed the woman a twenty-dollar bill. Suffering with untreated bipolar disorder, Goldbach confronts the realities of health care in the United States: dreading losing parental insurance coverage at 26, unable to afford Plan B as she fears a possible unwelcome pregnancy, enduring the callousness of health care professionals when she does seek help. He must need to use the bathroom, too. Blood drips onto the mares white hocks. He stood, dazed. She wants to tell you a story, but there are so many things about which she cannot speak. Her chest tightens at the thought of those stairs, but she doesnt know why. Why do you think it is shame still surrounds so much of what happens when there is a sexual assault? Her boyfriend breaks up with her. Two shallow graves / The weight of James Arthur Baldwin / White horse / The city that bleeds / "We are orphans here" / What came before the big bang? For a moment that was enough. One worker at the mill called her Greenpeace because she tried to recycle water bottles. Your chakras are dangerously out of balance. Eliese Colette Goldbach is the author of "Rust: A Memoir of Steel & Grit" in which she discusses her experiences working in the ArcelorMittal steel mill, as . But Elieses attention shifted to the man. She pushes the mare into the stallion. The man in the black bra lowered himself onto the curb. People raised eyebrows. He drives a ball and decides that we will go to a party with these golf-club-wielding men. The change in her material circumstances gives Goldbach the stability to manage her bipolar disorder and reckon with the effects of its likely environmental trigger, her rape by two men during her first year at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio. Bile runs hot down my neck. He promises candy if only shell follow along. Even now, she will not wear white underwear. The woman paused, as if consulting the universe. The handyman turns to her. Eliese was not the product of divorce. Goldbach is. She could have told the judges that her knowledge of male anatomy came from textbooks and intuition. [5] She loved Reeses Pieces. She presses her cheek against the white fur and smells the horses sweet must shit and sawdust like honeyed earth. Since 2016, we have witnessed the rise of what Appalachian public historian and activist Elizabeth Catte has called the "Trump Country" genre. With every failed attempt, the man bit his lip and looked close to tears, itching madly for his junk, his skag, his white horse. What happened to Eliese was not so clear. Even if Eliese were to remember the bottom of the stairs, it would only give rise to a new shame, a new doubt, a new search for yet another ameliorating violence. [7]. I turn to the man in the army fatigue jacket and smile. [3]. She was judged to be the type of woman who sneaks off into the woods and fucks men she barely knows. The benches and bus stops were full. Eliese Colette Goldbach was a steelworker at ArcelorMittal Cleveland. In a bathtub, I think. She dreams of rape perpetrated by kings and Only stupid little girls. Her palms grew sweaty. She knows equitation and conformation and equine disease. The mare follows, shifting her gaze to her handler. Her writing has appeared in Ploughshares, Western Humanities Review, Alaska Quarterly Review, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and Best American Essays 2017. Eliese wants to relieve her doubt, her uncertainty. After high school, she enrolled in Franciscan University in Steubenville, where she thought she would meet other likeminded pious young women. / Cost of living / If I only had a leg / Working the city / Sparrow needy / The book of the dead / Last taboo / Indigent disposition / Dispatch from flyover country / The reader is the protagonist . Thats a nice horse, the handyman said. The memory fades. The judges verdict. Thank you, Eliese said, ever polite, ever demure. I saw my underwear lying a few feet away. Those parts of her that bring shame. Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Vintage Matchcover: Golden Horse Diner & Service Station, Council Bluffs, IA at the best online prices at eBay! The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local. She restrained the white horses gallop. [8] Eliese watched the man. But deep inside the foals gut, something has gone wrong. They took pride in being part of the Brotherhood of Steel. She dreamt of rape long before she had a word for such a thing. So, everything true of a white horse is true of a brown horse. She tells us at the outset that she has a genetic and biological propensity for bipolar disorder, and it is in Steubenville that it emerges. Eliese does not follow. The best American sports writing 2015 / edited and with an introduction by Wright Thompson ; Glenn Stout, series editor. These foals always dieeither naturally and painfully over the course of a few days, or through euthanasia. She thinks of all those things people say she is. RUST Publicity: Christopher Smith at Flatiron Books . Its not a he, Eliese said.